I've realized that this blog has turned into something I didn't want: a listing of events accompanied by the appropriate photos. While I definitely wanted to create a forum for that sort of thing, I also wanted to create a space where my friends could go and read about what's really going on with me. It's not b/c I'm being narcissistic...I just think that as we all get older and move farther away, it can become all too easy to let friendships become superficial b/c we stop making the time to talk about what really matters to us. So, from time to time, in an effort to quell this trend, I'm going to post an entry of just thoughts. Hopefully, Chris will find time to post some of his own.
My first thought to share is this (not so pretty) one: I'm tired of being pregnant. At least I am today. It comes and goes. Most days I'm quite ecstatic about it, and I am always very aware of the gift of being able to actually have a child of my own. But there are times when I wish I could take one day off...just one. It started when I woke up this morning and proved that it's possible to have morning sickness well after your 1st trimester. The difference is, it's much harder to throw up when you've gained 40 pounds (yes, 40, and I still have 11 weeks to go...shut up) and that extra weight is almost exclusively located in your abdominal area. I'm also tired of having so much less energy, of having weird aches and pains from ligaments stretching, of my fingers being so swollen that I can't wear my wedding ring, of not being able to find anything to wear, of not having a glass of wine or a gin & tonic whenever I feel like it, of repeatedly receiving "advice" that I didn't ask for, of taking a full five minutes to go from a prone position to standing, and of never knowing what's going to irrationally bring me to tears. Any of these things taken by themselves isn't so bad; the problem is when they're all combined (along with more that I haven't listed) and you have to experience them 24 hours a day for 40 weeks. I know billions of people have done it, I know I could be having a much more difficult pregnancy experience, and I know that people have told me that I'll be even more exhausted after the baby actually arrives. I don't care...I'm tired right now. But I do try to keep my sense of humor...after I finished throwing up this morning, I turned to Chris and said, "I think I might be pregnant". I think he would have laughed harder if I hadn't looked so pathetic.
Okay, done with my venting--my baby girl just did a somersault in my tummy and made me really happy again. Maybe this pregnancy thing isn't so bad...
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11 comments:
Rachel
Hang in there, i would love to say it gets better the last 10 weeks, but it only gets better when you hold your little girl for the first time. Take it from me! And you know what I think it gets easier when the baby comes, because then you realize, it was all worth it.
I hope your day is full of kicks and turns. (from the baby)
Rach-
AMEN!!!!!
(I couldn't think what to say, Kurt said it)
Hugs Hugs Hugs and some more hugs
J,K, & A
I got one!!! I wish I was there to rub your feet and back to make you feel better!
Yay - the truth about pregnancy. I knew there was a reason it freaks me out...And I love that you shared it!
Loved your entry...your honesty. Let me tell you something to look forward too...a good nights sleep after you deliver! Maybe it will come in chunks (2 hrs here, 3 hrs there)...but you will be comfortable in those small chunks, you will not feel like throwing up, and Delilah will be staring up at you making you feel like the most important person on this earth! You will step on the scale in the morning and it will be a lower number almost every time! Hang in there...and ignore everyone's advice if you can...they just wish they looked as good as you do pregnant! HA!
ahh yes, the memories of being preggers. not to be negative nelly, but you will be more tired once she arrives. i do sympathize with you at this point now too though- just think of what you're doing. of course you're tired- you're growing a heart and lungs and liver in there! i love you!
sending you my love, chipmunk!
aww..Rachael!! Let me give you a little advice ;)...hmmm
Love you! Thank you for always keeping things honest! xoxo
ditto with all above. regardless of all the good you have to look forward to, there are still days of just plain poo-poo when you're pregnant. you WILL be tired when delilah arrives, but I actually didn't think it was all that bad....cause at that point you have this amazing tangible life to physically look at & remind you of the joy & reward of it all. you're going to be such an amazing mommy:)
Hang in there. I stand in awe of every lady who takes on that whole baby in your insides thing.
The nursery looks fun, too. Enjoy your nesting!
Yeah! I am on your blog and can officially post comments. I am only a few months behind on this, right? Not bad for a new mama=)
Although it does suck to be prego some days, just hang in there for those good days. I was so ready to have Addie by the end because I was so uncomfortable that you know we did EVERYTHING to try to get her to come. But, once she did, I missed having her in my belly and feeling her little kicks, and hiccups, and having her with me every single moment, no matter what.
Of course, now, getting to see her smile and look up at me is pretty great too=) Hang in there...love you!
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