A Tad Bit Irritated

It's 10pm, Chris is out of town, I've had a glass of red wine, and I just watched a TiVo'd episode of Oprah. (Admit it, you're hooked, aren't you?)
The episode was on The Real Truth of Motherhood that No One Ever Talks About. Of course, this piques my interest, and I'm excited to watch. By the middle, I'm disgusted, and by the end, I'm hopeful (which is pretty par for the Oprah course, right?).

Why was I disgusted? Well, b/c I'm a little sick of the whole, "Nobody tells you how hard and awful motherhood really is". Here are some quotes from the show and my internal reactions:

I feel fat and ugly and like my boobs only exist for the production of milk and then my husband gives me 'that look' and I can't believe it--doesn't he know how tired I am? I can identify with that statement. But can we please focus on the fact that you feel fat and ugly and yet your husband WANTS SEX. WITH YOU.

I don't do arts and crafts. I don't do pipecleaners. I don't do cottonballs and paint. *Studio Audience laughs knowingly. That's great and all, but you know who does do arts and crafts and pipecleaners? YOUR KID. So get some cottonballs and watch your child's face light up when he makes a caterpillar.

I would trade my husband for a housekeeper. That's ridiculous and it is trite, untrue statements like this that diminish all the hard, truthful statements that some women have the courage to make.

And, my personal favorite, or unfavorite, depending on how you look at it:
I thought that any kids I had would just seamlessly flow into my life and I would go on being my fabulous self with the same life I had before, just with kids. Really? Really?!?! Then you are just delusional. How can you NOT know that having children will forever change your life as you know it? That is just ridiculous.

And the saddest one:
I look at my children and think, 'What did I do to my life?'. Ouch. Your poor children.

I don't have a problem with women being honest about the problems motherhood poses. It is not an easy road, and I have definitely done my share of complaining. I do have a problem with the new trend of bemoaning motherhood, and having that be 'cool' and 'honest'. Just this past weekend I had a friend comment on how refreshing it was to see me enjoy Delilah so much. How sad is that? And the point there is definitely not to say, "ooh, look at me, I love my child so much" (because we all love our children)...the point is to say that enjoying your child shouldn't be refreshing!!!

Motherhood is a gift and I have too many friends struggling with infertility to sit and not be affected by a show like this.

But I must end this post with the reason that I had hope at the end. One of the last comments was one that echoed something I've been feeling for awhile:
All of these apparent battles between 'working moms' vs. 'stay at home moms' and 'mothers whose kids sleep through the night at 8 weeks' vs.' mothers whose kids don't sleep through the night until they're two', etc.--they are not really battles or competions between the mothers. They are internal battles inside each woman. The woman whose child sleeps at 8 weeks asks other moms when their child slept b/c she wants to know that she's doing a good job, not b/c she wants to brag about when her child slept.

We all just want validation for doing the most important job in the world, the best way we know how. I don't think making motherhood the punchline for wry, cynical jokes is the best way to attain that validation.

Okay, dismounting soapbox now. Goodnight everyone.