-At 3:15 on the morning of Monday, October 25th, I was in a dimly lit hospital room, holding my precious Noelle for the first time. This is the story of how she got here.
--I had been having contractions on and off all week (maybe for two weeks?). Nothing too strong, nothing too painful, but definitely contractions. On Saturday, 10/23, I started having some stronger contractions, but they were still completely irregular, coming anywhere between 20 minutes and 2 hours apart. Our dear friends, the Bighams, were in town and had dinner with us. I really wanted to have the baby before they left so Laura could meet her, but it was not to be.
--All day Sunday brought more contractions, but still extremely far apart. I knew this could last for days, so I was loathe to call my parents and drop Delilah off with them. I was afraid it would be a false alarm...a false alarm that I might repeat several times over the next few days. But I really thought it was time, and Chris trusted my instincts and convinced me that it was time to drop Red off. So he took her there about 5pm and then ran a few errands before coming home to me. By the time he got home, I knew this was for real, but since the contractions were still an hour or two apart, we both thought we would have dinner, get some sleep, and go to the hospital in the morning.
--Famous last words.
--At around 10:15pm, the contractions were still about 30 minutes apart, but I looked at Chris and said, "I feel like I should be at the hospital now. I feel like I should be getting ready to have the baby." So we started getting our stuff together, and I started timing contractions. We were taking our time, when all of the sudden the contraction spacing jumped to 7 minutes. By the time we got in the car (around 11:15pm), the contractions were 4 minutes apart and they HURT.
--We checked into the hospital, and everything seemed to be going in slow motion. The nurse finally checked me at 12:15 and said I was 5-6cm; 30 minutes later I got an epidural, and when they checked me again at around 1:15am, I was fully dilated at 10cm. Since I wasn't completely effaced, my heaven-sent nurse said that she would recommend to the doctor that we wait and I could rest/sleep for an hour or so. She said she could tell I was in shock that everything was going so fast and that I wasn't ready to have a baby yet. Since I was in labor with Delilah for 38 hours, the nurse was right: I was in shock and I wasn't ready yet. (She later told me that she could tell I wasn't ready the moment I came through the door so when she said I was 5-6cm, I was actually around 8cm but she didn't want to scare me...seriously, I love her).
--So I relaxed for about an hour and a half and reflected on how differently everything was going than it did when I had Delilah. With Red, I wasn't against having an epidural, but I also wasn't keen on the idea of getting one the second I walked in the door. And that was my attitude towards everything that first time: I was open to medical assistance (like Pitocin, breaking my water, etc.), but I wanted to be notified first, make my own decisions, and try to do everything as naturally as possible. I thought I had the same attitude this time, but I didn't. In the car on the way to the hospital, I already knew I wanted an epidural, and once at the hospital I didn't really care what they did. Which was good b/c the doctor on call apparently didn't really think I needed to be notified about anything. My water was broken, and I was put on Pitocin (still not sure why, since I was moving so rapidly on my own), and didn't find out about either until after the fact.
--Which would make a lot of you mad, and would normally make me mad, but it just didn't. I think I was just worn out from everything that's been going on (the move, living as a single mom for a while, trying to sell our house, etc.), that I just wanted to be taken care of. I didn't want to make one more major decision...I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. And that's what this doctor and nurse team did. It really furthers my belief that most of the time (but certainly not all the time), we get the labor & delilvery we need, even if it's not the one we thought we wanted.
--Anyway, around 3am, our room was bombarded with doctors and nurses and I was told I could start pushing. I still couldn't believe it was time (neither could Chris), but I started groggily pushing. Again, I was ready to be in it for the long haul since I pushed for two hours with Red...but 4 pushes and Noelle was out.
--I remember one of the nurses delightedly cooing about how chubby her cheeks were, and Chris remembers me crying tears of joy and repeating, "Come here, sweetie, mama's here, come here, baby."
--And then she was in my arms and on my chest. She stopped crying literally the second she was in my arms and I was so happy I thought I would burst.
--And the three of us spent the rest of the night together (minus a couple hours for the nursery staff to officially declare her healthy). We didn't really tell anyone, even our parents, until the morning, and there was something so special about having those few hours to ourselves. The hospital was quiet, the rooms were dim, and Chris & I fell in love with our baby girl.
--People say you forget the pain of childbirth, but I think I had mostly forgotten how overwhelming and beautiful and emotional it all is. I had forgotten how your heart feels like it's going to explode from holding so much joy, and how you fall more in love with your husband. How you instantaneously pledge to this new being that you will do everything in your power to make sure she grows up knowing how much she is loved.
I love you, Noelle, and I will always treasure those early morning hours when you joined our family.
--I had been having contractions on and off all week (maybe for two weeks?). Nothing too strong, nothing too painful, but definitely contractions. On Saturday, 10/23, I started having some stronger contractions, but they were still completely irregular, coming anywhere between 20 minutes and 2 hours apart. Our dear friends, the Bighams, were in town and had dinner with us. I really wanted to have the baby before they left so Laura could meet her, but it was not to be.
--All day Sunday brought more contractions, but still extremely far apart. I knew this could last for days, so I was loathe to call my parents and drop Delilah off with them. I was afraid it would be a false alarm...a false alarm that I might repeat several times over the next few days. But I really thought it was time, and Chris trusted my instincts and convinced me that it was time to drop Red off. So he took her there about 5pm and then ran a few errands before coming home to me. By the time he got home, I knew this was for real, but since the contractions were still an hour or two apart, we both thought we would have dinner, get some sleep, and go to the hospital in the morning.
--Famous last words.
--At around 10:15pm, the contractions were still about 30 minutes apart, but I looked at Chris and said, "I feel like I should be at the hospital now. I feel like I should be getting ready to have the baby." So we started getting our stuff together, and I started timing contractions. We were taking our time, when all of the sudden the contraction spacing jumped to 7 minutes. By the time we got in the car (around 11:15pm), the contractions were 4 minutes apart and they HURT.
--We checked into the hospital, and everything seemed to be going in slow motion. The nurse finally checked me at 12:15 and said I was 5-6cm; 30 minutes later I got an epidural, and when they checked me again at around 1:15am, I was fully dilated at 10cm. Since I wasn't completely effaced, my heaven-sent nurse said that she would recommend to the doctor that we wait and I could rest/sleep for an hour or so. She said she could tell I was in shock that everything was going so fast and that I wasn't ready to have a baby yet. Since I was in labor with Delilah for 38 hours, the nurse was right: I was in shock and I wasn't ready yet. (She later told me that she could tell I wasn't ready the moment I came through the door so when she said I was 5-6cm, I was actually around 8cm but she didn't want to scare me...seriously, I love her).
--So I relaxed for about an hour and a half and reflected on how differently everything was going than it did when I had Delilah. With Red, I wasn't against having an epidural, but I also wasn't keen on the idea of getting one the second I walked in the door. And that was my attitude towards everything that first time: I was open to medical assistance (like Pitocin, breaking my water, etc.), but I wanted to be notified first, make my own decisions, and try to do everything as naturally as possible. I thought I had the same attitude this time, but I didn't. In the car on the way to the hospital, I already knew I wanted an epidural, and once at the hospital I didn't really care what they did. Which was good b/c the doctor on call apparently didn't really think I needed to be notified about anything. My water was broken, and I was put on Pitocin (still not sure why, since I was moving so rapidly on my own), and didn't find out about either until after the fact.
--Which would make a lot of you mad, and would normally make me mad, but it just didn't. I think I was just worn out from everything that's been going on (the move, living as a single mom for a while, trying to sell our house, etc.), that I just wanted to be taken care of. I didn't want to make one more major decision...I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. And that's what this doctor and nurse team did. It really furthers my belief that most of the time (but certainly not all the time), we get the labor & delilvery we need, even if it's not the one we thought we wanted.
--Anyway, around 3am, our room was bombarded with doctors and nurses and I was told I could start pushing. I still couldn't believe it was time (neither could Chris), but I started groggily pushing. Again, I was ready to be in it for the long haul since I pushed for two hours with Red...but 4 pushes and Noelle was out.
--I remember one of the nurses delightedly cooing about how chubby her cheeks were, and Chris remembers me crying tears of joy and repeating, "Come here, sweetie, mama's here, come here, baby."
--And then she was in my arms and on my chest. She stopped crying literally the second she was in my arms and I was so happy I thought I would burst.
--And the three of us spent the rest of the night together (minus a couple hours for the nursery staff to officially declare her healthy). We didn't really tell anyone, even our parents, until the morning, and there was something so special about having those few hours to ourselves. The hospital was quiet, the rooms were dim, and Chris & I fell in love with our baby girl.
--People say you forget the pain of childbirth, but I think I had mostly forgotten how overwhelming and beautiful and emotional it all is. I had forgotten how your heart feels like it's going to explode from holding so much joy, and how you fall more in love with your husband. How you instantaneously pledge to this new being that you will do everything in your power to make sure she grows up knowing how much she is loved.
I love you, Noelle, and I will always treasure those early morning hours when you joined our family.
