Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Pregnant Viking Who Was Too Heavy to Lift: A Ballet in 3 Acts

I was at a luncheon this past week with a bunch of people I don't know very well. Here is an excerpt from that lunch...
Male #1: You used to dance ballet? Why did you stop?
Me: Bunch of reasons...one of which is that I grew to be 5' 9", which is usually too tall for ballerinas.
Male #1: Why do ballerinas have to be short?
Me: Well, one reason is that when you're en pointe, it adds 5 or so inches...and if you're already tall, those extra inches don't look good on stage when you're partnering.
Male #1: I can see that...plus, you must be really hard to lift.
Male #2: I don't know why the height would be such a big deal all the time. I mean, surely there must be some ballets about big Viking women or something that you could have been in.

...(about 30 minutes later)...
Female #1: How's your baby doing?
Male #3 (looking me up and down): Oh, when are you due?
Me: About 9 weeks ago. I'm going to let that sink in. Can somebody please pass the bread rolls?

And that's how my post-baby self-image came crashing down in one day.

9 comments:

Franca said...

Rachael... i love it!! Especially when you asked for the bread rolls to be passed! That's my girl! lol! I love it!!

TeamRiss said...

that's crazy...who are these people and why were you spending time with them?

Joie and Kurt Hauschild said...

Who are these people? If I could AFTER pregnant body EVER I would be thrilled. Were these people munchkins?

Team Leslie said...

You're lying. Who were they talking to?? Not you. I 2nd riss....why are you giving these people the gift of your presence?

Matthew and Jessica Green said...

I AM CRACKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously...I have tears in my eyes and I am laughing so hard, only because you are the most glamourous, beautiful thing since 'sliced bread'...no pun inteneded:) I can totally see the conversation unfolding...you and your dry, witty sense of humor!! I love you...and if you saw my fat a$$, it would make you feel a lot better old friend!!!

Matthew and Jessica Green said...

Ok...me again:) I just read your entry out loud to Matthew and he was bending over laughing. Here are his comments:

'Who are these people?'

'Oh no!"

'That is hilarious and well written:)"

We love you guys!

Summer Athena said...

I think pregnant viking women that cannot be lifted and that like the bread are HOT!

ali said...

I didn't know whether to get really, really mad or to laugh really, really hard at your replies.
Silly people you don't know very well. I think you should continue to to not know them very well...

The Guidroz Family said...

I wish you would have posted pictures of these guys!!! Love you!